MIL and SIL have a extremely close and loving relationship. They are best friends and it is really very lovely to see. But, MIL almost seems afraid of upsetting or disapointing her daughter.

My husband was very surprised by how out of control his mom gets. And actually a lot of issues that he had growing up became more understandable to him from what he witnessed. Plus, MIL was always much closer and much nicer to her daughter. Both of them know that she yells and overreacts a bit, but there is definitely an underestimation of how extreme it gets. And, she was 40 years younger when she was a mother and probably had more energy to put into parenting.

FIL said something to MIL about her spanking and such a while back and she completely denied it and said that he was making her out to be a monster. She almost doesn't even admit to herself what she does. I know that saying something candid to MIL or SIL would create chaos in an otherwise very lovely family. I just feel really badly for that 2 year old. He isn't allowed to do anything. She just yells at him all day. He has to play the way that she wants him to play-i.e. so that she isn't bothered too much. I am sure they have some "good" days, like when she is well rested or FIL is around to help her.

Also-2 year old has to see a specialist because the doctor is concerned about his progress. For instance: he isn't talking yet(MIL doesn't exactly encourage language development except by saying "Say something!") He doesn't stack blocks (MIL doesn't play with blocks with him), etc, etc. But I truly believe that he is healthy physically and mentally. Even though she isn't extremely abusive, her poor care does have an effect. It is very sad. I try not to be around them now because it is so painful to see.