I bumped into my parents' marriage certificate about the time I hated my father. It said something about my mother's first marriage being 'dissolved'. I didn't really understand exactly what that meant but I got the gist of it. What I didn't know at the time was that she was married for about 6mths to a skinflint and this was about 9yrs before I was born. So being as I hated my father at the time I did go off into daydreams of wondering whether this first husband was my real father.

It probably wasn't ideal, but it was years before I brought it up with my mother and got some more, but still brief, details. At the end of the day I still have a very up and down relationship with my father, nothing changed that, and I don't think a brief fantasy really did me much damage in the long run. As I say, that probably isn't the ideal approach, particularly with you both living in the same area, I'm just trying to say that you probably shouldn't worry too much about the long-term ill effects, whatever the short-term crazies produce!

You could kind of bring it up as a 'Did you know..." Well, fancy that! Kind of a trivia thing almost. Silly almost. And he now has a daughter just like I have you... Isn't it a funny world! But I'd wait for something to naturally trigger it, no matter how long that takes, even in the same town, because making a big deal out of it will make any small kid think you have something else to hide! It might be helpful if DH is around at the same time to laugh happily over it, showing the kids there's nothing wrong and nothing to hide.

Don't obsess over it, either way!

Kerri.