For me the taking care of my DH is all about the little things. He usually does ironing and washing up, and he's far better at keeping the house clean than I am, so I've stopped worrying about it. I don't stay home to keep the house clean - if I worked outside it would probably be cleaner - I'm here to raise my kids primarily, and make life as easy as possible for DH who often works long, very stupid hours.

For me I often have the favourite foods and snacks ready (not good since DH is now twice the size he was before we married!), but it's also making sure his parents have what they need eve if he's away, getting things out of the way during the week if possible so I can keep the weekend free (depends if I have wheels or not). Getting him ready for the morning I make sure there's hot water for his shower (instant heater, not central), get the towels off the rack into the bathroom, lay out his underwear, pour him a cup of tea... He gets breakfast out, so that's easy.

It's those little things that, to me, make the difference of a real home. Saving him money when I can too, making meals at home for us all (though he's hardly eaten with us this year, but it still applies to myself and the kids).

Also providing a haven where he can talk out all his work woes with me, no matter how late at night... definitely lots of little things. He's more than capable of the basics himself (also good at cooking as well as cleaning), but this isn't a boarding house so it's different that he doesn't have to do it all. Some, but not all.

Oh, and one last thought... sorry to be quoting Simple Abundance yet again (I'm constantly reading it I'm afraid!) but there was a date in July which talked about the home as a hobby, and it came from an essay written by the English essayist Arnold Bennett (who was born and bred in the place I'm moving back to, pretty much!)... it's about trying not to see all the broken stuff and things that need changing as chores, but to see them as your hobby. It will never really be finished. I'd check the date, but I gotta run out to pick up DH from work (10pm!).

Kerri.