Hi Jenny,
I started lurking here when I did a search for kidney reflux and stumbled onto this site.
My daughter was diagnosed at 2 months with it and finally outgrew it this year after she turned three. I was ready to discuss surgery options with our doctor. I was afraid of the long term effects of the medication on her stomach. I have a friend whose daughter had the surgery last fall in Portland, OR and she is doing great. Not sure if any of this helps but our dr told us every year that she would most likely outgrow it and he was right. Have you seen a Pediatric urologist?
Michelle