to everything Fern said. My teanagers (DS18 and DC17) are both neither born of my loin I don't advertise that DS18 isn't mine, I don't call him my "step" son. I call him my son. I hate that term, I feel like it causes seperation. I don't want him to feel like he's not just as much a part of MY family as his brother Trey is or his sister Savannah. Anyway, I've never had a problem with anger from Tony (ds18). Now DC17 is a diffrent story, his isn't as vocal as what it sounds like your DS's is but it's still there. He has some REAL issues with women, due to the way his mother was and still is. Like I said he's never "blown up" or gotten physical with me, but I see the anger there. I usually give him his space but at the same time let him know I'm here if he wants to talk. Sometimes whatever it is blows over and sometimes he seeks me out and needs to talk about it.
This is a hard age, I know with Anthony (DC17) that if I push him to tell me what's wrong he'll shut down.
Well I said all that and just really don't know that any of that will help or not. My circumstances are diffrent than yours, Anthony has reason to be angry at times. His mom really let him down, still does on at least a daily basis. She never calls to see how he is, she makes promises that her drug addiction won't "let her keep". I just hope that a stable life for the last 2 years will take him threw college and on to a better life.
Ahhhh, I always feel like I can't just answer a question with "I don't know" I have to go into this long drawn out thing that sounds like I'm trying to make it about me. That's not what I'm trying to do, honest.
I wish I had some better advice but I can't say it any better than what Fern said.
You and your family will be in my prayers.
And remember anytime you need to vent, we're all here.
Jamie Lea