if you do everything for yourself you are accused of being selfish...if you do nothing for yourself you are a doormat

so I think that there has to be a middle ground

actually I tend to be a bit selfish myself,,things like the channel and food are my choices,,kind of when we do things and how

I think that in a way I am doing SOME good for my DDs because I am showing them [not on purpose] that when they are older to think of themselves,,they will not have to go on Oprah and tell how they don't know how to say no. Yes, they do get many many choices of their own but I do try to let them know that your decisions are based on YOU AND someone else.

some people might say I am a bit B****Y because I majorly stand up for myself,,,BUTTT on the same hand I have been told many many times that I am very friendly and nice and well liked[ok im done ] I do think I make decisions for ME and for OTHERS

middle ground...a happy place for all