Thanks so much to all of you:) It helps so much to hear everyone's stories and opinions on this. My gut instinct has been to have pretty much no contact. Like many of you pointed out, that could relieve lots of the stress associated with dealing with such a person. Lynn also said what I have been feeling (and what Charlene and Jamielea have already realized): a leopard doesn't change his spots!

Most of all, your advice and sympathy helped me feel like I'm not a terrible person for wanting my dad out of my family's life, at least for the forseeable future. This is probably the happiest time of my life, and I'm lucky that this is the only (very) dark spot

Happy holidays and hugs to you all, and thanks again so much