...it's time for some outside help. Call your state or county's Department of Health and Human Services and tell them your problem. Your Mom sounds like she may be depressed. Getting some help from an outside source would help you to deal with your own feelings of guilt and frustration and maybe could get her some help so she can develop a heathier outlook on life. You didn't mention how old she is but a lot of older folks seem to fall into depression and negativity, especially after losing a spouse. Good luck.