You poor thing! I have a 3 yr old and I get it too, "So, are you going to have another one?" As if my reproductive strategy should be public knowledge.

My MIL and my own Mom both said insensitive things when I was breastfeeding that nearly drove me to tears. I had breast reduction surgery in '98, six pounds were removed, as in, three pounds on each side. So when I had DD two years later, I didn't make enough milk. She didn't gain weight after she left the hospital and I had to start supplementing with formula so she wouldn't starve. Which gave her a preference for the bottle and she tried to wean from me to the bottle at three months, etc., etc. I was very distraught.

I would breastfeed, feed DD some formula to finish the feeding, then pumped (I recommend the Medela electric pump and/or the Avent hand pump), then washed up all the equipment, changed her diaper, then it was time to start all over again. I was exhausted and didn't even have time to eat.

One day after I'd pumped I went to go put the milk in a bottle and my mom said, "That's ALL?" Each two ounce container wasn't even a quarter full. You can imagine how that made me feel. And darned if my MIL didn't later say the exact same thing when I walked by her with the milk containers in my hands. I mumbled something about how as the day goes on I get more tired and make less milk. But it HURT. I couldn't believe they said that to me, they KNEW how dissapointed I was that my milk supply wasn't enough and how much I hated feeding her formula. And that was nothing compared to what my brother's sister went through with her in laws who thought her milk was "weak" (it wasn't) and fed her baby formula when her back was turned. Talk about unsupportive.

However, I didn't have strangers on the street asking me "That's ALL?" on top of it, so you've still got more to deal with. It may not work with the mothers, depending on how thick headed they are, but you are allowed to tell them that those kinds of remarks hurt your feelings. Here's what I'm talking about:

"You know that we had a hearbreaking miscarriage and are having trouble concieving again. Remarks like that are very painful and really distress me. You know that we are trying to have another baby. Please don't put any more pressure on me, I've got enough already. I really do not care to discuss this right now." You may repeat the last sentence as often as necessary.

You can say it gently, politely. If they get mad, tough, they shouldn't have made the comment. (I tend to say what I think nowadays, wish I did back then.)

So you aren't the only one with insensitive parents or in laws, my dear. I'm sorry you have to deal with that on top of everything else.

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May The Hair On Your Toes Never Fall Out

--Traditional Hobbit Blessing