I found this page by accident and I am really glad I did! I am also a caregiver for two relatives in my family. My mother and grandfather (live-in) who both suffer from various forms of mental illness. I have cared for my mother for ten years and my grandfather going on almost eight years, off and on. With my mother I have gone through every emotion possible. I had lived with her at times, during her lowest moments, and was literally a mobile Psychiatric Unit when I wasn't. There has been everything over the last ten years... 24 hr a day moitoring, bathroom and shower supervision, keeping her numerous medications logged, maintained, and hidden. Plus the doctor's appointments, emergency incidents, and numerous trips at all hours of the night to the local psychiatric hospital for an evaluation. With my grandfather, he refuses to admit he has a problem and has finally given in to treatment recently. He makes it as pleasent as giving a toddler a rectal thermometer to say the least. It is very hard for him to understand mental illness, or how his behaviors negatively effect not just him, but those around him. Claning up a bathroom after him is enough to make you It is very hard to care for someone especially when there is no one else to help. Just finding the time to balance your own life is difficult. Adding financial, parenting, household, and caregiver worries.... can be an overload on a neverending basis. You can't forget to take care of yourself though! Sparactics moments of nothingness included. You are still doing your job by being "on call." Some people say that you are never given more then you have the strength for.....so may the strength be with you Thanks Fern for helping me keep in mind that it's not just me. The holidays just add to the fun;-) I am sorry for your loss Sweetpiv. Happy Holidays everyone!