Sweetpiv, I'm sorry for the loss of your MIL. When one loses the person they have been caring for all kinds of feelings are normal, so please don't beat yourself up. Simply by keeping her at home, you gave her the greatest gift a child can give an elderly parent. With grief, many times come other unsettling emotions. The thing is to realize that they are perfectly normal feelings for caregivers. Guilt, failure, feelings of uselessness, anger toward the deceased and the one that usually causes guilt. . .Relief.

Speaking from my past experience, keeping yourself and the family busy is the best medicine. Talk about her, visit her grave, let the kids take her a flower. Remember her at Christmas by hanging an ornament on the tree or making her favorite recipe. The first year is always the hardest to get through, then things seem to smooth out again. You don't forget, but you learn to deal.

For yourself, wrap yourself up in your family. . .do all the things you've missed out on because you've had to stay home with her.

It may take months to recover mentally and physically from the exhaustion of caregiving and looking after your family at the same time. Just hang in there and take care of yourself for a change also.