A Comfortable Silence
Sometimes communication is best when no one says a word
by Jessica Bali
e had been sitting on the back steps for the last half hour, with not a word between us. Neither of us was concerned over what the other was thinking. We already knew. The power within our silence was astounding! Never in our relationship had I felt that close to him, like we were totally whole. I was thoroughly amazed.
I told him how I was feeling and he agreed. We found it strange how we could enjoy each others company more in those moments of silence than any date, vacation, or outing. For once we learned that it isn't what we do with the spare moments of time that we have, like going to a movie or something else that you would do on a date. What mattered was how we clicked in those moments that we spent together.
Silence really is golden; it's just as valuable
To me, time alone was us going to a movie or out for supper. Neither of us found it very relaxing, since we were surrounded by people and we were always worrying about our daughter. Now I look at time alone in a different way. I look forward to the nights when we can sit in the backyard talking quietly about what has been happening with the other and just being us. There is no one there who will care if we haven't had a shower yet, if my makeup is on, or if he has a hole in his jeans. It is just US. Pretty powerful if you ask me.
Some people have mistaken silence for disapproval or problems about to rear their ugly heads. Silence can be so much more the opposite. It can alleviate stress, open up intimate moments for you and your spouse and give you an inner peace that you probably haven't felt in a while.
How does it do those things? Here are just a few ways:
Alleviate stress: Don't think of yourself and your spouse as simply sitting silent, let your mind wander back to times when you were first together and remember all of the special moments that you shared. You begin to see that there is still so much in your relationship that was there before which lead you to so much more than you ever dreamed.
Open up intimate moments: this doesn't have anything to do with sex, although it can go there! It has to do with sharing simple moments together where you can just be within each other's reach without needing, wanting or trying to do anything at all. If you are sitting with an open mind and concentrating on just the two of you and all of the beauty that surrounds you, you will see how romantic time together like that can be.
Finding that inner peace: Listen to the birds, the children playing at the park, the raindrops beginning to fall. For some that might not be relaxing, but for my husband and me it is. It is soothing to the soul to listen to the little things in life and just forget about the big things. It is also soothing to know that you can sit together without all of the barriers that can otherwise break up the silence. Allow yourself to be silent and that time together can be peace.
Trying to get yourself and your hubby to slow down long enough to enjoy the little things is hard at first, but over time you realize that it will just happen. You won't need to schedule time, or worry about what might happen; it just will, and that is the best part of all.
Jessica Bali and her husband reside in Alberta Canada where they raise their 5-year-old daughter. Together, they have learned that marriage is probably one of the toughest challenges in life, but the most rewarding. She is the editor of YouMarriedHim.com, a community that fortifies marriages and offers great support for when you need it the most. For more information or to visit the site please go to http://www.youmarriedhim.com.